There is a lot of hand-wringing in the Church these days about what we should be calling our priests (/pastors/ministers). That we have a choice at all is the blessing and curse of the via media. Bottom line, people are going to want to call you something. And hopefully, as we do with many other professions (Dr., Officer, Professor, etc.) that name will denote a certain amount of respect for your position and your role. You have to earn respect for yourself in that role, but the name you choose to be called will be very important because names matter. Father/Mother will hold a certain vestige of Catholicism (well, “mother” won’t but that’s not the point at the moment). Pastor will be more Protestant. Reverend is very formal and hard to say quickly, but a good catch-all. What about just your name? Well it depends on whether you feel that sufficient to the role to which you are called. It’s a personal choice and I don’t mean to advocate for one above others, but simply to say that it matters. It matters in how people see us and it matters in how we see ourselves. It matters in the boundaries we are constructing that define our professional and personal selves—porous boundaries to say the least in this profession, but necessary ones.
And ultimately it matters because we proclaim that God knows us each by name. To know a name, to say a name is to know and be known. To that end, the best advice I got in preparing for my new position, and the most important work I did in my first weeks on the job was not preaching impressive sermons, or praying perfect prayers. It was studying the parish register and learning people’s names. To look someone in the eye and say their name meant that they mattered. And as a priest you must get used to such actions also betraying a hint of theological overtones. Showing someone they mattered to you, their priest, could, in some small way, show that they mattered to God. Priests are walking, talking symbols. Every act, even one as simple as learning a name, can convey a message about God. A God so mysterious and glorious that God can know each individual intimately and be the force that drives our endless universe—at the same time!
As an addendum to these thoughts on names, one of the unforeseen but similarly important little moments for ministry comes in the email sign off. Given the number of emails we send, this is a huge decision and should be made wisely. “Peace” or “In Peace” is always safe but can be boring. “Pax” makes you sound a bit pretentious. “Christ’s peace” is a bit pietistic; “Peace and Love” makes you sound like a hippie. So think about it. But do something. It’s another small way to spread awareness of God’s presence in our world which is your role as a priest. It’s a tool. Use it well.