Good Friday
The Rev. Noah Van Niel
Chapel of the Cross
April 19th, 2019
Were you there when they crucified my Lord? Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble. Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Yes. Yes, I was. Yes, we were. But where? Where are you in this story? 
Are you in the crowd? Have you ever been governed by fear? Have you ever let your hatred boil over? Have you ever been swept up in a mob? {Crucify him, Crucify him!) Have you ever been so afraid of a new and challenging idea, or person that you just wanted to block it out? Pretend it didn’t exist, make it not exist? {Away with him, away with him, crucify him!} Have you ever sold out to the powers of this world rather than the powers of your God? {We have no king but the emperor.}
Are you a soldier? Have you ever been callous, compassionless or cruel? {And they wove a crown of thorns and put it on his head and struck him on the face and mocked him} Have you ever been selfish and greedy? {And before he was even dead, they took his clothes and divided them up, and they made a game out of it to see who would get his tunic.} Have you ever prioritized your wants and desires over and above the suffering and well-being of others and in so doing picked up that hammer and driven those nails one inch deeper into the wood of the cross?
Are you Pilate? Have you given up on doing the right thing when it got hard? In the face of opposition does your commitment to justice flag? {From then on Pilate tried to release him…but they shouted all the more, and so he handed him over to be crucified}. Have you ever refused to use what power you have to promote peace and do good? {“Do you not know that I have the power to release you and the power to crucify you?”} Would you rather be rid of the trouble of fighting for those who cannot fight for themselves so you can return to your own comforts and ease no matter who suffers along the way?
Or are you one of the disciples? Perhaps Judas—have you ever chosen money over your relationships with others? Have you ever betrayed a friend or loved one through your own weakness? Or perhaps you are Peter—have you ever denied that which was most important to you? Have you ever surprised yourself that you are not the courageous hero you thought you were? Or maybe you’re one of the others who get going as soon as the going gets tough? Have you ever failed to accompany someone who is walking through the valley of the shadow of death because of your own fear of confronting the pain of life, the reality of our mortality? Have you ever forgotten that whenever someone suffers, Christ suffers with them and neglected to enter into that suffering and stay with that person through it? Have you failed to stay awake with Jesus in the garden, or stand by his side at his trial, or kneel at the foot of his cross?
Or perhaps you find today that you are Mary? Has your heart ever ruptured with the pain and anguish of another, someone you love—a spouse, a sibling, a parent, a child? Have you ever known that sorrow, that deep, soul wracking sorrow that says you can do nothing to help them escape?
Or maybe you are Jesus? Alone, abandoned, betrayed, tortured, dead. Have you ever felt isolated from the world? Have you ever had a relationship you counted on dissolve? Have you ever had your friends drift away just when you needed them most? Have you been mocked? Have you felt despised, rejected? Have you ever been in pain, profound physical pain with no relief? Have you ever been in despair wondering if God was even still there in the midst of all this? {My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?} Have your prayers ever just been loud cries and tears? Have you ever sat in a darkness so deep it was like a sealed up tomb?
Were you there, when they crucified, my Lord? Where? Where are you in this story? Wherever you are—angry mob, selfish soldier, cowardly disciple, heartbroken mother, tortured son—it’s a hard place to be. No wonder sometimes it causes us to tremble. But no matter your answer to this question, no matter what you have done, or failed to do, no matter how deep your sin or how dark your despair, no matter your complicity or your complacency, no matter your cowardice or you corruption, no matter your pain, no matter your grief, there is one more question that can wash it all away, one question even more important than “were you there?” one question that allows us to call this awful day, “good.” And that is this: Wherever you are today, where are you going to be three days from now?